I really want to write. I really want to write what I want to write. Now, I am forced to write what I don’t really want to write but need to be written so that I can write what I really want to write. Forget it.
These several months had been busy months for me, not because that I did not have enough spare times, but rather because the distribution of workload during different periods of time was too extreme. Earlier in the academic year, I had a really relaxed life. I could have lots of spare time and gaming time. At school, there were only 19 AUs of study and little quizzes. What a paradise for NTU students!
Yet, not so relaxed in my spiritual life. Having moved out from hall of residences and moved in to “robber’s den” (aka. “sarang penyamun”), at times I felt quite lonely when I got no classes and no one present at home. This was added with certain emotional struggle that is difficult to share. Thus, my spiritual life was going down and down further. Certainly, there are lots of blessings in this period, with lots of spare time to play much more games (the favourites were Cities XL 2012 and Final Fantasy 13 → this games is not as good as it’s supposed to be), lots of time with housemates (even too much time), and a great, memorable, and last NTU-ISCF camp. Yup, there must be a lot more than these things, but I can’t recall them now with many things flying in my head. Oh yes, 1 more thing, I sold several Kindles! So sorry for spamming your inbox (if you’re subsribing to my blog) with my Amazon updates. I must say that I was really happy when the first kindle was sold, even happier than receiving my first allowance in Industrial Attachment. Maybe selling things is my desire?
Entering the new year with the new hope and joy, I saw several unique things. First, I entered year 2012 with sickness. From Dec 31th 2011 till first week of Jan, I got a strong fever and sorethroat. I came back here with hope that the air is cleaner and fresher to support my recovery. That was true, until I fell sick again! And, a very cruel sickness. Food poisoning! And the food was extremely delicious, yet poisonous! Phew, at least I lost 2 kg because of this.
Second, my roommate entered year 2012 with resolution of losing weight by 10 kg in 6 months. And I was semi-voluntarily dragged into his resolution as well. How to lose weight? According to Sugianto (2012), the main problem of diet programme nowadays is it is too painful and too restrictive. A good diet programme should be interesting and enjoyable. So, instead of restricting yourselves with eating sinful, oily, creamy, yummy food, change your dietary pattern. Eat less fat and oily food. In Singapore, this means absence from mixed rice and other hawker foods. So, my roommate and I cooked oil-less pasta for almost every meal possible. And I can tell that it is a great success (at least for my roommate).
Third, and last for this post, I entered year 2012 with a hope of graduation from NTU. And that day is coming closer and closer! Yes, there are lots of things to leave, lots of things to do, lots of things to prepare. I need to leave university life and enter a new phase of life. I need to leave the financial support from my parents and make my own living. I need to leave the comfort and luxury of staying till dawn and waking up late in the morning and enter a structured, disciplined life. I need to do FYDP with higher effort than ever. I need to do job-searching. I need to study hard and make sure I pass all my exams. I need to prepare for my career development and search for my vocational calling. I need to prepare to probably enter new phase of ministry after graduation.
Yes, I need to do this and that and this and that and more and more things occupy my mind. I am really fortunate that in the mid of this dire time, when everything important comes closer and closer, I still have friends that support my spiritual life, remind me to battle my ever-haunting sins, keep close to God during this time, learn about the Word of God together, and helping me to prepare for the new phase of life. I don’t know where I am now if these friends and mentors are not around. I don’t know how my other friends without the presence of mentors can “survive” this transition. And I thank God for that.
While Easter mood is still around, let us also share a desire of Paul, as he said in Phillippians 3:10, “ (what I really want is) ~ that I may know Him and the power (or in other translation, the mystery) of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death.” Yes, it is difficult yet joyful to know Jesus and the mystery of His resurrection. Yes, it is difficult yet necessary to share in His sufferings. Yes, it is difficult to become like Him in His death, but it is really the only way to live. Happy Easter!
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